A family friend called me the other day, asking for advice on how to approach her son's football coach regarding lack of playing time. With lightening speed, size she believed, was perhaps an issue as to why her son is second string quarterback. Based on my previous experiences in talking with coaches, I advised my friend to remember that at any given time, second string is ultimately called upon to make a big play, and being a team player with a positive attitude is a coaches’ dream. Faced though with a gut feeling that she should say something, and the fact that she had waited for a week to talk about it, I asked my friend if their football coach had an email, or phone number that was shared with the team at the beginning of the season.

The football coach had in fact given the team both email, and phone numbers, but I suggested that she personally call the coach at a convenient time, and leave a short message along with her phone number, if by chance the coach did not pick up. If the coach was to pick up, I asked her to be polite, brief, and most important supportive, and simply ask what criteria is used in selecting first string, and if he has any plans on rotating first and second quarterbacks. Regardless of the answer from the coach, I asked my friend to appreciate the time the football coach is taking to speak with her, and also the time spent working with the team in coaching youth football.

Keep in mind that your football coach is trying to do what is best for the players, the team, and is striving to teach the importance of building teamwork in youth sports. Many coaches are quite receptive to feedback, and communication that is constructive.

Listed below are some suggestions on approaching your youth football coach:

1) Usually when youth football teams are selected, the football coach holds a parent meeting whereby the football players are also invited. Sheets are handed out with pertinent information, such as football training, football equipment, practice times and the coach's numbers, and another sheet is often passed around to write down the youth football player’s phone numbers. This is a good time to ask any questions for the upcoming season. If by chance a meeting is not held, suggest to the youth football coach that a team meeting be planned, and implemented.

2) Ask the coach to appoint a team parent. This is good for fund raising, team parties, and creating a phone tree should practices have to be re-scheduled. This helps out the youth football coach, and the football team stays organized with events.

3) Show your coach respect, and be patient when you need questions answered. This sets a good example for the football players, other parents, and most importantly the football coach. The game of football is a beloved sport, played with intensity and a positive attitude. Respect for the football coach is paramount.